I wish....

just a bit of twitter stream of consciousness.


There are days when it takes everything I have not to load up the car & drive west. I mean, the car might not make it across the Mississippi & I for sure don't have enough gas money to get my heart home but the road is calling. This is absolutely one of those days. But what I'll do instead is load the dishwasher & try to finish some holiday shopping & miss my Grandma a ton & try to keep the plants alive & try to offer some kindness, even if it gets ignored. I will pay the water bill & the electric bill & the phone bill & make a pot of soup so I can eat at work. and bake a treat for Ian & the sweet ladies working under the steel every day. I will listen to some funnies & maybe watch something sad & wish I knew... ..which box #LoveActually was in so I could listen to the commentary. And I will post a #short 47 hours too late & beat myself up about how I'm coping with stress and how I'll manage to find a place to sleep in England. And how I'll pay the rent when I'm not working for a month. And be excited about meeting so many of the lovely folk I know from here. And getting to visit Dan's pub. and see Marek play softball. And talk to Sean about writing. And to Sian & Tiff about comedy. and to Lucy & Phill about music and comedy. and maybe get to pat Buddy on the head. and hug Emma in person for being my hero. Yesterday was the birthday of one of the best humans I know. I told him I'd be away from him for a few weeks & it's been a few years. I'd give anything to have bought him a beer. I can't wait for the day I get to return and catch up. I have so many good people in my life here & I do not regret the time I've got to have with the kids but I miss him terribly. I'm not where I'm supposed to be. But I will just keep working hard until I can be. Tomorrow and the next day and the next I will walk about 10 miles & try to be as kind & useful as possible. Some of these are good things and some not so nice. That's life, right? But....it's not an 'enjoy being an adult day' for sure.